I saw a toaster and blender photo in a “new kitchen gadgets” article in This Old House magazine, and I thought, “Holy sh*t. Someone most certainly is having fun here, and TOH didn’t get the joke.

But, nope. I was wrong. Sooo wrong. Now, I know the adolescent male in me finds this awesomely funny, but really – what marketing and/or design engineer thought it would be cool to: (a) name their company SMEG, and (2) create a line of retro-50’s appliances with said name boldly imprinted onto each item? Okay, that was a trend back then. But to me, there is a hell of a big difference between having “Frigidaire” or “GE” or “Amana” in chrome block lettering on your fridge and washer and toaster… and having “SMEG” all over your kitchen.

There are just too many possibilities here. In the banner header for the site, one of the pulldowns is even listed as “COOKING WITH SMEG” (note arrow in the image above). Oh, dear lord of the apple pie and uncooked liver, MAKE IT STOP. NOW. Oh, I just can’t…Cooking with smeg??? Didn’t ANYbody at that place think of how the infantile-humored among us would read that?

I’ll take a Smeg toaster in Cream, Alex. Or maybe a Lime Green Smeg fridge… Although I must admit, the red mini-fridge would be fun for a bar. And I like the lines of the stand mixer. Just not with SMEG on it.

See the whole line-up: SMEG Retro Kitchen Appliances